Pink
by Echeziel
Summary: A Sand Sibs oneshot, telling of how Temari awoke to find a VERY messed up Gaara on the floor, and how she has to deal with Kazekage duties temporarily. Totally crack-tastic. BEWARE! And yes, It's VERY SHORT!


"Gaara, what the hell are you doing?" Temari asked incredulously, staring slack-jawed at her brother. He eyed her coolly and ignored her, eating his bubblegum flavored ice cream while playing with the My Little Pony horses.

The blond kept staring at her brother, not believing that her kid brother was playing with No, scratch that. Her _emo_, _psychotic_, _serial_ _**killer**_ kid brother was playing with My Little Pony.

_'This is not happening'_

**'Totally not happening**' Inner Temari agreed.

_'Not at all. I'm going to close my eyes, and it will just be Gaara looking at me like he wants to kill me. Right?'_

**'Right. Gaara is normal. Gaara is the normal Kazekage, not this fucked up version of him'**

Temari closed her eyes, counted to ten, then opened them. Yes, the scene in front of her was perfectly normal. _Unless _Gaara with My Little Ponies and bubblegum ice cream wasn't normal. It was an everyday occurrence, right? Yeah, she didn't think so either.

Temari returned her gaze to him, where it didn't move, staring for five minutes in total and complete shock.

**'Brain. Not. Comprehending'**

'That. Is. Not. Gaara!'

'**Wow. Sorry. Sweetie. I want to believe it's not there just as much as you do, but...Gaara is playing with My Little Ponies'**

'Si Habla Espanol?'

The blond was still staring at him when he asked without looking up "Temari, can you stop staring at me?"

"Y… yeah" she stuttered, then turned and walked into the hall, breaking into run when she was out of earshot of Gaara, then kept running across the large house to her other brother's room. She kicked open the door to find Kankuro sitting on his bed, cleaning his puppets.

"G…G…Gaara's finally" _huff huff_ "lost it" she panted.

"Didn't he a long time ago?" he asked

"No, not like this. I walked into him in the living room playing with My Little Ponies and eating bubblegum ice-cream" she nearly screeched.

"I don't believe you"

"Really! He is, and I Don't. Know. What. To. Do!"

"Alright, show me him"her eldest brother replied, shoving himself off of his bed.

So Kankuro followed Temari across the house to the living room, and he stared at Gaara playing on the floor. The puppet shinobi was staring with the same expression as Temari had when she first saw the Kazekage.

Temari left Kankuro staring, and went over to her little brother and kneeled down next to him.

"Gaara, don't you want to go killing people? Because if you don't, Kankuro said he would steal your cookies" she said gently. Yes, it was bad enough that the Kazekage had cravings for chocolate chip cookies at odd times. She would _not _allow him to play with My Little Ponies any longer. At least, that's what she told herself.

There was a squawk of panic in the background from Kankuro at the potentially dangerous thing being suggested.

Gaara lifted his eyes and replied simply "No".

Then his eyes went back to his toys.

"Call the elders" Temari whispered to Kankuro, who nodded quickly, then raced off to his room to speak from the phone there.

XXXX

"Temari, are you _absolutely sure _that this is the Kazekage?

The blond nodded. Gaara just stared at Chiyo, his emotions not flickering in his eyes, but Temari suspected that he was having withdrawals from his toys and his ice cream.

"Well...I found a strange herbal mix in his blood stream, which is used for causing hallucinations. Mixed with normal herbs, it can cause strange reactions like this"

Chiyo frowned. Temari didn't speak, because she could tell that the old woman was not done.

"But...i don't know how it could have entered the Kazekage"

"Tea?" Kankuro suggested.

"That's a possibility"

"Wait. Before we speculate about just _how _it entered, shouldn't we try to get it _out?" _Temari asked sceptically.

"Temari"

"Yes, Chiyo-baa-sama?"

"This will not be coming out of Gaara's blood stream for awhile. If we try to remove it, the toxins may kill him. It is best of we wait for it to leave his system by itself.

"How long will that be?" Kankuro asked. Temari could hear in his voice that he was dreading the answer.

"Three months" Chiyo replied, a deep frown on her place.

"He cant be Kazekage like this!" Chiyo's brother cried.

"Yes, I know. So...the one who is most likely to succeed as Kazekage after Gaara resigns or dies will have to be the temporary Kazekage."

"Who will that be, Chiyo-baa-sama? Baki? He's a good choice"

"No. One of the council will not want to be Kazekage. No, the heir to the Kazekage's duties is...well...I'm terribly sorry, Temari-san, but the heir is...you"

So that is how Temari was stuck with being the Kazekage for the months that it took the herbal mix to get out of her brother's system. And trust me, she could feel Gaara's _pain_. And it didn't help that the herbs took one month longer than expected to leave. And then she had to deal with a _very _grumpy red-headed Kazekage that was suffering from withdrawals. Which was NOT one of the funnest things to do.


End file.
